I love listening to librarians help confused students. Someday I'm going to do that, and when I'm in my sixties, I'm going to be a librarian who hosts story hour every Thursday morning. We'll read books like Peter Pan, Where the Wild Things Are, and Go Dog Go. We'll have a snack of Goldfish in plastic dixie cups and drink Juicy Juice out of those cute miniature juice boxes. It'll be fantastic.

A favorite pastime (probably not the best word to use but it'll work) is dragging my feet through the leaves as I walk across campus. Perhaps it's unlady like to drag your feet, but hearing the crunch is so worth it.

I really hate the way the Millersville Subway makes you smell like onions. Have you guys ever heard of Febreeze? Or maybe Glade Plug-Ins?

The accepted abbreviation for chicken parmesan is chicken parm, is it not? Apparently my friend John finds it offensive. If I tell him to deal is that too harsh?

I sat in the SMC computer lab for ten minutes re-typing my log-in over and over and over until I realized that the error messages I kept receiving weren't my problem; the SMC servers were down.

My ear itches. Sorry if that grosses you out, its a statement of fact.

A new personal goal is to strive to love God more passionately and for Him to play a greater role in my daily thoughts. I've always had this goal, and worked towards achieving it - but today marks a new resolve to do so.

there is a boy in Yankees attire in the computer lab. he struts with an attitude that could give A-Rod a run for his money. is it bad that i kind-of hate him?

strawberry PopTarts have a way of making a crappy morning a little better.

yesterday was rough. today has been a challenge. not sure what God's trying to teach me, but i want to learn. maybe He's just trying to kick some of my selfish tendencies out of me. i could use that.

oh, life.

oooh, somethin's coming. somethin' gooooood.

happiness is so many things.

i am experiencing many of them.

:)

have you ever driven past a house that seems to be screaming, "come inside, sit down in this chair, listen to me, i have such stories to tell you," ?

someday i'm going to live in a house that has a story to tell.

the panels that comprise its wrap-around porch will creak as if to say "we have seen so many visitors in our time." the once vibrant paint will be chipped and faded, almost forming its own language. not a legible language that we humans can read, but one that only the house can read and tell. a language that tells a story.

leading up to the house will be a lane. not one of sharp, modern pavement but constructed of simple dirt and stone; the old-fashioned way. lining this lane will be weeping willow trees, bowing across to form a lush canopy, as if in honor of the beauty that surrounds them. at the end of the lane will stand a single yellow mailbox. not that ugly neon color that the teenagers wear these days, but a soft, inviting yellow. picture in your mind, a field of mustard flowers, sprinkled with a dusting of paprika and mixed together with an enormous wooden-handled paintbrush; that will be the color of my mailbox. the pole the yellow mailbox rests upon will be rusted and bent, as it has been there for many years and weathered many storms.

there will be many windows in my house, allowing the warmth of the sun to fill every nook and cranny. in the mornings, the rays will beat in, casting a magical glow that seems to say "this is what the glow of pixie dust looks like, my little dreamer."
my kitchen will be one of love. this room will be cheery and bright, welcoming all who enter. it will be noisy, always a-bustle with the liveliness of people young and old. the food will tell stories; recipes passed from generation-to-generation, with a touch of new life splashed in for good measure. fresh fruits and vegetables will always be plentiful, keeping the body healthy and happy.
the bedrooms will be havens for my children, places they can spend time learning about themselves and the world around them. the rooms will be their own spaces, with the freedom to decorate and discover as they choose.

this structure that will be mine someday will not simply be a house, but it will be a home. it will be filled with my boy, my children, and welcome to all. it will be a free and non-judgemental place, a haven for learning and discovery. hikes will be taken, paintings will be created, music will be made. evenings will be spent playing games and reading the classics, gathered around the tv watching the Phillies or an old black-and-white classic. laughter will fill every corner, and conversation will never be sparse.

someday, i will have such a house. a home. a home that posesses an entire book of stories. i will make my own story to add to this book. a story of love, of faith, of happiness, of discovery, of creativity, of wonder.

the semester has begun.

i'm writing again. i am.

and so far it only [kinda] sucks.

yes.

Its been a good past couple of days.

Wednesday: Dinner at home with just Dad and watching the Phillies game.
Thursday: 500 Days of Summer with John and hot tub at Alex's.
Friday: Pasta, ice cream cake, Yuengling and Highschool Musical with Jon Stone.

In other news, I bought a classy pencil skirt today. It makes me feel like a sexy librarian; you know, a librarian like they always describe in those mystery novels with really coy titles. [giggle]. I also bought a lovely bohemian shirt that makes me feel exotic and a delicious pink, blue and black plaid scarf that screams "hello, i'm artsy."

I also plan on incorporating a character who is obsessed with champagne colored furniture into my next short story. Just thought you'd like to know.

i want to write. i need to write. i have a million ideas for a story swarming around in my head but none of them make sense.

i'm afraid to write. what if i write what's swarming around in my head and once its on paper i hate it?

i need to conquer this. i'll never get better if i don't write.

i need to write.

the time is 1:52am. i am alone in the house, the family returns tomorrow after being away for the week. the house keeps making weird noises, so i am writing to get my mind off of being freaked out.
relationships have been on my mind a lot lately. often this can be a frustrating, stressful, annoying, bothersome [insert multiple more adjectives that i don't feel like typing right now] subject to mull over. but lately, its been quite the contrary.
a thought struck me a bit ago that i've never really thought about. so often, i get caught up in what i want in a guy. "what's my ideal man?" i ask myself. its a good thing to think about - its healthy and wise to know what i hope for in a boy someday. but something i also need to think about is what am i doing to make sure i am the girl that will be for that boy someday? am i doing my part in growing to be the godly young woman that i need to be? i want a godly boy, someone who loves the Lord more than anything else - so am i making sure i am the kind of girl he would want?
i'm happy where i am right now. i'm ok with not having a boyfriend. i'm ok with a random date here or there, and having lots of friends [both boys and girls]. i am enjoying the independence. but i know someday i want a boy of my very own. one boy to cook fun organic food for. one boy to fold his socks for and iron his shirts. one boy to watch baseball with and sing corny songs with the windows down. one boy to read the Bible with and to pray on our knees. one boy to raise a family of little ones with. one boy to cry with, to laugh with, to make memories with. one boy of my very own to be right by his side.
i can't wait for that day. but until then, i am happy, i am content. i know God's timing is perfect, and until that perfect time, i will seek to become that girl for that one boy.

[someday, i'll be that girl.]

i am thoroughly convinced that one can taste all of summer in a single bite of watermelon.

my mom said i need to be home more. its not like i haven't wanted to be home, but sometimes its so easy to just get caught up in your own schedule that you forget about the people you love most. its awful, but true.

so, in light of that conversation with mom, i have made an effort to be home this week and spend time with my family. the time at home has resulted in a a bit of a cooking and baking spree. so far its been peach cobbler, pizza and mango black bean salsa. delish. tomorrow promises experimenting with making my own hummus and also some amazing homemade granola. i'm pretty excited.

being home is nice. you realize that you don't have to be out being crazy with your friends every night. sometimes just being home, around your family, laughing at episodes of Family Matters or screaming at the tv as Chase Utley hits a home run, or sitting around the table discussing how your day at work was; sometimes those times are the very best, the very sweetest times of all.

What makes a mind-blowingly perfect night?

Seeing an unbelievable performance of Les Miserables with one of your very best friends at the Fulton. Listening to Rent and Muse on your drive home and singing at the top of your lungs. Drinking wine and listening to music by candlelight outside. Watching a double feature of Father of the Bride and My Big Fat Greek Wedding, curled up on the couch with a blanket [plus another glass of wine, of course]. And all of this, spent with one of your very closest friends.

Yes. This makes a mind-blowingly perfect night.

i sat on the beach, cozily wrapped in the hoodie i have yet to return to jonah [he won't mind, will he?]. the wind picked up just enough to make the air fresh and to brush a mist from the ocean across my exposed skin. i put my ipod in my ears and listened to Barber's Adagio for Strings as the big orange moon rose above the water.

this, my friends; this is a moment i live for.

i love lots of things...

i love the way sunscreen reminds me of the beach.

i love ryan seacrest.

i love breyer's vanilla bean ice cream.

i love steven and noah for all the time they've put into making my computer healthy again.

i love the frilly, girly, anne of green gables-esque shirt i just bought at forever21.

i love playing scrabble with way too many people than the game is designed for [and scoring big with words like "quota," "glitz" and "sexy"].

i love sitting in a dark field with friends under a sparkling sky of stars and singing worship songs til late at night.

i love movie nights with jonah and his hoodie that he lets me borrow all the time.

i love margie for giving me a second job [God answers prayer].

i love seeing old friends in the mall and making new ones when you least expect it.

i love leaving anonymous notes on friends' cars.

i love sitting in the living room with mom and dad, talking about the funny things that happen to us in life between mouthfuls of freshly popped pop corn.

i love cathleen and the fact that no matter what, she is there [always].

i love getting random phone calls from noah and the funny things we talk about [and of course the "later helga" that ends each conversation].

i love the steady, predictable sound of my fan humming away in the window.

i love watching mary drive away in her old man car and oversized sunglasses.

i love watching old marilyn monroe flicks with cax and anne and eating garlic bread pizza ridiculously late at night.

i love steven's iced coffee and pam's amazing banana bread with cream cheese filling [they make work a happier place].

yes, these are a few of the things i love.

do you ever get that really scary gut feeling that you're going to end up marrying the guy you swore you'd never date?

[yeah].

Mediocre. I hope that my name and that term never appear in the same sentence enless they are referring to the level of skill that I posess in the field of mathematics. And even then they would not belong because to say that I am mediocre in mathematics is like saying that Hugh Jackman is an ugly man. It is simply not true; each of the previous statements are a falsehood. I wish I was mediocre in mathematics; that would be several levels up from what I am at this present moment.

But that is beside the point of what I am trying to say.

I wish to lead an elaborate life. I do not mean elaborate in the way that many might take that; eating in a stuffy dining room off of fine china each night and shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue on a bi-weekly basis.
I mean elaborate as in learning to embrace and make the most of the moments and experiences in life that come to us for such for such a short time. That sounds rather cliche and perhaps it is. If the cliche truly bothers you, click the little X in the corner of your screen and you'll be rid of my sappy babble. Otherwise, humor me for a few more sentences.

On a regular, never-ending basis, I [we] am faced with choices, with opportunities, with decisions. Some are bigger than others. Will I wear a pink shirt or a blue shirt? Should I stop at Wawa and buy the cup of coffee I've been craving all day or safe that $1.89 for something I really need? Should I switch my major to something I enjoy more even though its less practical? Should I date this person?

It is easy to just take these moments that face us in life as normal, everday, predictable decisions. Recently, I have been reminded of the importance of every decision we make in life. This is not to be one of those posts that is to revolutionize the way you think about your life. But it is a nice reminder of the fact that just because things become routine in life does not mean they do not hold importance and significance.

The moments in life when you're out on your friend's trampoline at 11:30 at night? Embrace that; its a memory. Those thirty minutes you have with the little five-year-old who climbs into your lap and wants nothing else than to just snuggle? Embrace that; they'll remember. The sore back you get from bending over and picking up the endless array of popcorn kernels from the floor at church? Embrace that; that simple act is blessing someone else. The time he feels like his life is a failure and you know what Bible verse he needs to hear? Embrace that; God will use you.

Living a life of mediocre moments is like gazing at a pond covered in a layer of scum that continues to thicken as the hot summer days yawn past; uninspiring and nauseating. Instead, I seek to live an elaborate life; one that embraces the little moments and finds some way to make them sparkle and glisten like the clear waters of a fresh water pond.

observations and happenings from the past few days:

1. jonah and i discovered an unbelievably talented band from PA. they're called Halestorm. if you ever want to hear power chords and vocals, you've found the band. [they're especially good with the windows down and the radio blasting as you drive down South Street in Philly :-p]

2. gregg says: i touched your shoulder as if to say, 'we're still good buddies.' [i love him.]

3. boys who wear watches often drive old school cars and wear glasses. i like those boys.

4. at 7:00 this morning i was driving ashley to the philly airport. we were listening to 98.1 WOGL [one of the best radio stations ever], and a song had just finished playing. i randomly began to sing the opening line of "stay'in alive" by the beegees and not two seconds later, what song came on? "stay'in a live" by the beegees. how weird is that?

5. the movie Juno has the best soundtrack ever. i am blown away every time i hear it. how can one soundtrack be so good?

6. yesterday we bought the most amazing cheese in the entire world at the cheese shop in the Italian Market on 9th street. i wish i could remember the name of it.

7. i have become a pro at instructing my friends on how to order a Geno's Philly cheesesteak the proper way. if you need educated, just give me a buzz. it's an art.

8. i'm pretty sure ashley and i have consumed a record amount of junk food and amish rootbeer in the past 6 days. we should win a prize or something.

9. jonah and i sat in their music studio and talked about the greater things of life while listening to old cheesy songs that he wrote years ago. those are my favorite times with friends.

10. this weather makes me want to put on a sundress and go picnicking in a meadow.

have you ever loved and cared about someone so much that it causes your insides to ache?

yeah.

I think God is teaching me patience.

I wish He would hurry up.

.[smile].

Yesterday was a delicious day.

You know those days where you can tell that nature is bowing to the Glory of God? Cruising along in my junky little VW, I admired the lush green hue of the trees as I drove to church. You could almost hear the trees singing their praises to the Heavens as they were kissed by the gentle pitter patter of raindrops falling from the charcoal sky.

Church was amazing in every single way. Sometimes you feel like Jesus is sitting right next to you, whispering in your ear, "that was meant for you," after every single sentence that is preached. Those times where you feel the Holy Spirit so tightly wrapped around you that there is a warmth; a tangible warmth that you can't help but feel. It's so warm, so cozy, so safe. You never want Him to let you go. Never, ever. Yesterday was one of those days.

The early part of my afternoon was a conglomeration of fried chicken, laughter and Highschool Musical 3. I drove home listening to the Beatles, and wishing I could have been one of those adoring, screaming, pigtail wearing, pre-pubescent girls back in the day.

At home, my house was filled with roughly forty people... so many children, and laughing adults... so much noise! It was wonderful. I love coming home to utter chaos. I spent quality time with my brother and trecked back to West Chester. I'm sure many people thought I was a grandma driver... I took every turn at about 10mph because my tires are bald and the roads were covered in water. I really need to take Sir Cantankerous into the shop for some work.

The rest of my evening consisted of showtunes around the piano, recalling childhood memories with close friends, ooh-ing and ahh-ing over Barbara Streisand's voice in Funny Girl and learning that some people are brought into your life to bring you the most amazing joy and the biggest challenges, all in one moment.

Yes, yesterday was a good day.

I have absolutely nothing to do today. Nothing. I have not felt this way since Monday, January 12th. What an unbelievably odd, yet strangely wonderful feeling. So what shall I do? I believe I will do things like drive to the library and take out a ridiculously large stack of books. I'll set it on my end table so that every morning and night I'll be reminded that I only have a few weeks left in summer and I must get them all read. I'm going to brew myself a pot of loose-leaf tea and curl up in my bed. Perhaps I'll turn on Oklahoma! and watch Hugh Jackman be the most amazing "Curly" in the world. Yes, that is what I shall do today.

Oh summer, how I love you.

i am DONE finals. done. done. done. best feeling EVER.

despite the relief, it's been a weird week. strange relationship things going on. strange emotional things going on. and on top of it all, i have been having a hard time sleeping and have hardly eaten anything. all of that is probably connected in a weird way.

oh well, thank God for coffee and tea. these substances keep one alive. :)

today...

i took five finals in a ten-hour time span.

there was a boy in the library who looked like a young tom cruise. he asked a girl who was obviously just an acquaintance what color her eyes were. no, he didn't get her number.

i fell asleep on a wooden bench in the music building.

the cute hippie boy at turkey hill was taking out the trash. i want to be friends with him. he looks like he would be a good pal.

i laughed at my piano prof when i walked into her office to see her drinking tea out of a china tea cup and snacking on chocolates and cookies. she is my favorite.

yup. it was a good day.

Based on an assessment of my current situation, I should be having a complete mental and emotional breakdown right now. I should be sitting on my bed, crying, wishing that it all could just be over right now.

But I'm not. I'm calm. Almost eerily calm. I'm drinking water, not coffee. I have a neat and tidy to-do list. I'm taking things one step at a time, and slowly but surely getting things done. This worries me. I shouldn't be calm. I'm never calm during finals week. EVER.

In other news, last night I tapped my pen against Jonah's beer bottle and I guessed that the tone produced was an F-natural. I ran over to the piano, and it was! When I triumphantly returned with news of my discovery, he proceeded to simply shake his head and say, "sarah, you're such a nerd." I should start counting how many times I am told that every week. I could probably set a record.

I've also recently discovered that my bathroom fan hums a B-flat and our vacuum is an A-natural. Life is music, my friends.

Ok... back I go to my calm study habits. I'm starting to creep myself out.

if i believed in karma, today would have been my affirmation that it truly exists.

as i drove down strasburg road, i was thinking to myself how wonderful it is that i haven't run over any animals in quite a long time.

and literally just as i was thinking that, a squirrel ran out in front of my car, and the poor little fur ball met his untimely death beneath the spinning wheels of my VW.

i didn't look back to see if his tail was waving in the breeze.

poor little squirrel.

last night i was vulnerable and scared.

last night i laughed to keep from crawling into a little ball and crying.

last night i sat on couches and listened to music with people that i love.

last night i talked in a phony british accent because doing so was more fun than just being sarah.

last night i wondered how i was going to do it all.

today i drank tea.

today i blocked out distractions.

today i smiled because i couldn't help myself.

today i was encouraged.

today i relied on HIS strength.

today.... yes, today was a good day.

Today's sermon in church reminded me of a dream I've always had. Jim was speaking, and expressing the extreme boredom he experiences when visiting museums. "I usually whiz through them in about 11 or 12 minutes," was his comment.

This reminded me of something I have always wanted to do. I'm definitely pulling a "NERD" card on this one, but I have always wanted to design museums as a career. The museums I design would not be boring, however. They would be fun, exciting, interactive museums in which the visitor leaves feeling inspired and satisfied that they had just used several hours of their time in a profitable manner.

Someday... maybe I'll get to design a museum. Maybe.

observation: school buses are the same color as the yellow lines on the road. i never noticed that before.

disgust: today i drove past a dead squirrel on the road. its tail was waving in the breeze. *shudders*

edit: i stood at rocco & anna's for 45 minutes, waiting for my pizza. got a 1/2 price coupon out of it. score.

i'm here. i've missed it, and i'm back. back to the world of sharing the random experiences and thoughts that comprise my daily life with you poor, unsuspecting souls.

i have a feeling noone will read this. strangely, i'm perfectly fine with that. i think i'm doing this more for myself than anyone else. is that selfish? i wonder.

i suppose i ought to explain why my blog is "the yellow mailbox." i think i'll do that some other time.